Dual tragedies struck the city of Phoenix, AZ earlier today as total of 6 news choppers crashed in two separate fiery crashes. First, 2 news helicopters crashed while covering a high speed police chase near central Phoenix. Firefighters and ambulances rushed to the scene, but were unprepared for what happened next.
“I saw the first fireball and the helicopters go down,” said Juan Perez, who lives with 13 other families in a single bedroom apartment near Phoenix Central Park. “Then about four other news choppers started circling the wreckage. You could see they were jockeying for position.”
Observers say overeager pilots and cameramen inched dangerously close to each other for a better view of the crash when four additional helicopters simultaneously collided, raining flaming debris onto the already wreckage strewn park.
A local station manager was nearly speechless over the tragedy. “What words are there to express the pain and anguish when a senseless tragedy like this ruins a ratings bonanza like a high speed chase?” he said. “I only hope that we can find solace when the overnights come out.”
----------James Dobson, the founder of Focus on the Family, publicly questioned Fred Thompson’s Christianity, saying “Everyone knows he’s conservative and has come out strongly for the things that the pro-family movement stands for, [but] I don’t think he’s a Christian; at least that’s my impression.”
Mark Corallo, a spokesman for Thompson, called the charge ludicrous, and more importantly beside the point, as “the real question in this race is whether Jesus is a Fredist.”
He said that Thompson would be making a public statement to counter the charge later in the day, after he finished attending “Wednesday Services,” which the spokesman explained involved Thompson throttling a filthy war protester with his left hand while he panfried some porkchops for lunch with his right.
----------Venuezuelan President Hugo Chavez said Wednesday that his friend, ailing Cuban dictator Fidel Castro has been walking, “almost jogging”, in recent days.
Despite widely-reported rumors of failing health, the 80-year old strongman’s doctors have devised a regimen of vigorous physical therapy involving variously sloped terrain that Castro “can scale down incredibly quickly”, depending on the percentage grade.
“Fidel seems to really love the steep ones,” said one doctor. “We can’t keep up with him. Almost as soon as we let go, he’s bounding down energetically with his arms and leg flailing and tumbling. Eventually we catch up, finding him sprawled out, quietly meditating at the foot of the slope, his arms and legs twisted behind his back. He’s eternally youthful.”
----------The latest Quinnipiac poll of Connecticut residents finds spelling challenger Quinnapeeack two points ahead of Kwinnapeiak among voters, 48-46. Quinnipiac, the actual spelling of the poll, is preferred among just 6% of respondants.
It is believed the contentious spelling of Iraq is driving the surprising results, as bitter divisions as to whether to call the nascent democracy, which may or may not be in a state of civil war, Irak, Irack, or Eyerach have split the Connecticut electorate and created an unexpected three- way race.
The poll also asked opinions on the Lieberman- Lamont matchup, but those results were largely boring, it being like at least two months until the election, which means that the poll is virtually meaningless.
----------Hundreds of filthy Jews wandered around the streets of Kiryat Shemona on Thursday, after a Ketusha rocket fired by Hizb’Allah struck a laundry detergent factory, setting it ablaze.
A Hizb’Allah spokesman said the strike was “just vengeance” for the continued attacks by Israel which have “killed no one but innocent civilians excersizing their 2nd Amendment rights, destroyed baby formula and medicine factories that I’m afraid are too dangerous for you to enter and inspect, and damaged playgrounds where our children play in spider holes and underground bunkers.”
When asked if Hezb’Allah would be ridiculing their Israeli enemies as “filthy Jews” after striking their supply of laundry detergent, he responded: “I don’t get it. What is that?”
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we’ve finished running all the alternate history simulations through the Point Five Simulometer, and it turns out every single possible variation on the Iraq invasion would have turned out worse.
“no invasion”… “more troops”… “not disband the Iraqi army”… “kill Sadr”… “level Fallujah”…
Every single one turns out an unmitigated disastrous clusterf**k. Who woulda thought?
So next […]
High-quality Hezbollah day care centers could be the norm, if international diplomats can broker a cease-fire.
For Ibrahim Rahaal, there is no regulation uniform, no government issue boots, no weapon other than the one he has purchased on the street. As a member of the makeshift Hizb’Allah army, Rahaal and his compatriots make due with what […]
The bombing at Qana is recreated under scrupulous model conditions to determine the truth.
Interesting stuff from the week that was.
Damian G. takes on the dean of the conservative movement.
Insolublog gives proportionate response a schooling.
Jawa Report on “subtle” bias.
Abbagav on a tragic kid shortage.
Beth rounds things out on a cheery note.
Americans "Casual Anti-Arab Racism" Likely Cause Of Killings Hate filled anti-Islamic propaganda “takes many forms.”
While the vast majority of Americans spent their Friday in the safe comfort of their daily lives, for most Muslims living in the U.S., the day was spent as usual, in a cloud of “suspicion, intolerance, and racism.” Forever wary […]
I’ve finally done it!
My many long years of calculation are finally over, as I have discovered the way to divide by zero.
Null? Ha! I don’t want to spoil the surprise, so I’ll let you all figure out how I did it by yourselves.
Now back to my old project of geometrically trisecting a line.
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Lowered Bar, College Scholarships, May Spur Recruiting Efforts
Though offering doctrinally pure justification, war conducted on a 100% holy basis presents unique challenges to jihad planners.
In his first message since the recent flareup of hostilities between Israel and Hezb’Allah, al Qaeda deputy Ayman al Zawahiri called on moslems worldwide to “stand with us as we stand […]
Hundreds of filthy Jews wandered around the streets of Kiryat Shemona on Thursday, after a Ketusha rocket fired by Hizb’Allah struck a laundry detergent factory, setting it ablaze.
A Hizb’Allah spokesman said the strike was “just vengeance” for the continued attacks by Israel which have “killed no one but innocent civilians excersizing their 2nd Amendment rights, […]
Now, you know we gotta have our Kag Report.
So what could possibly make the hatted rock experience even more of a sartorial lapidopteristic delight? Why, the appearance of the Carnival of Comedy, of course!
What’s that? Not enough for you? How about an UNPRECEDENTED SECOND CARNIVAL OF COMEDY, also right there at Kag.
If you […]
Disrupts Imperial Diet Squirt Supply
As many of my more faithful readers may already know, there are few beverages capable of quenching the Imperial Thirst. One of the few, though, is Diet Squirt, that delightful grapefruit- flavored soda. At first, the absence of my favorite beverage at the supermarket struck me as odd– but not unreasonable (perhaps my […]
Mixology: Dry (And Sick)
Mixology: Mt. Muthaf*cka
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