Tragedy As 4 Helicopters Crash Covering Earlier Crash Of 2 Helicopters
Dual tragedies struck the city of Phoenix, AZ earlier today as total of 6 news choppers crashed in two separate fiery crashes. First, 2 news helicopters crashed while covering a high speed police chase near central Phoenix. Firefighters and ambulances rushed to the scene, but were unprepared for what happened next.
“I saw the first fireball and the helicopters go down,” said Juan Perez, who lives with 13 other families in a single bedroom apartment near Phoenix Central Park. “Then about four other news choppers started circling the wreckage. You could see they were jockeying for position.”
Observers say overeager pilots and cameramen inched dangerously close to each other for a better view of the crash when four additional helicopters simultaneously collided, raining flaming debris onto the already wreckage strewn park.
A local station manager was nearly speechless over the tragedy. “What words are there to express the pain and anguish when a senseless tragedy like this ruins a ratings bonanza like a high speed chase?” he said. “I only hope that we can find solace when the overnights come out.”
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Dobson Snubs Thompson: "I Don’t Think He’s A Christian"
James Dobson, the founder of Focus on the Family, publicly questioned Fred Thompson’s Christianity, saying “Everyone knows he’s conservative and has come out strongly for the things that the pro-family movement stands for, [but] I don’t think he’s a Christian; at least that’s my impression.”
Mark Corallo, a spokesman for Thompson, called the charge ludicrous, and more importantly beside the point, as “the real question in this race is whether Jesus is a Fredist.”
He said that Thompson would be making a public statement to counter the charge later in the day, after he finished attending “Wednesday Services,” which the spokesman explained involved Thompson throttling a filthy war protester with his left hand while he panfried some porkchops for lunch with his right.
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Chavez Says Castro "Almost Jogging", Depending On Slope Of Cliff
Venuezuelan President Hugo Chavez said Wednesday that his friend, ailing Cuban dictator Fidel Castro has been walking, “almost jogging”, in recent days.
Despite widely-reported rumors of failing health, the 80-year old strongman’s doctors have devised a regimen of vigorous physical therapy involving variously sloped terrain that Castro “can scale down incredibly quickly”, depending on the percentage grade.
“Fidel seems to really love the steep ones,” said one doctor. “We can’t keep up with him. Almost as soon as we let go, he’s bounding down energetically with his arms and leg flailing and tumbling. Eventually we catch up, finding him sprawled out, quietly meditating at the foot of the slope, his arms and legs twisted behind his back. He’s eternally youthful.”
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Quinnipiac Poll Finds "Quinnapeeack" Most Popular Spelling
The latest Quinnipiac poll of Connecticut residents finds spelling challenger Quinnapeeack two points ahead of Kwinnapeiak among voters, 48-46. Quinnipiac, the actual spelling of the poll, is preferred among just 6% of respondants.
It is believed the contentious spelling of Iraq is driving the surprising results, as bitter divisions as to whether to call the nascent democracy, which may or may not be in a state of civil war, Irak, Irack, or Eyerach have split the Connecticut electorate and created an unexpected three- way race.
The poll also asked opinions on the Lieberman- Lamont matchup, but those results were largely boring, it being like at least two months until the election, which means that the poll is virtually meaningless.
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Filthy Jews Flood Streets Of Kiryat Shemona
Hundreds of filthy Jews wandered around the streets of Kiryat Shemona on Thursday, after a Ketusha rocket fired by Hizb’Allah struck a laundry detergent factory, setting it ablaze.
A Hizb’Allah spokesman said the strike was “just vengeance” for the continued attacks by Israel which have “killed no one but innocent civilians excersizing their 2nd Amendment rights, destroyed baby formula and medicine factories that I’m afraid are too dangerous for you to enter and inspect, and damaged playgrounds where our children play in spider holes and underground bunkers.”
When asked if Hezb’Allah would be ridiculing their Israeli enemies as “filthy Jews” after striking their supply of laundry detergent, he responded: “I don’t get it. What is that?”
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Mixology: Dry (And Sick)
Mixology: Mt. Muthaf*cka
The Knucklehead of the Day award Part One…
We have so many Knuckelheads today. They are descending on us like manna from heaven.
Saying that, our first winner is an appropriate one. He is Roman Catholic Cardinal Angelo Sodano….
The Knucklehead of the Day award Part Two…
Our second winner for today is Pamela Rogers, a former teacher in Tennessee. She gets the award for the following….
Former Secret Agent to Sue Cheney…
A former CIA agent has recently filed a lawsuit against Dick Cheney in retaliation for revealing her identity. “I was so deep undercover I didn’t even know who I was so of course it was very disturbing when that information was released” sa…
The Knucklehead of the Day award Part Three…
Our third winner today is the Reuters News Service and its reporter Mark Egan….
The Knucklehead of the Day award Part Four…
Our fourth winner today is Lorna Jeanne Dudash….
Got a Problem? Make it like Zidane Butt Head!…
Things are not always as they seem. For instance, look at this completely innocent photo: If you watched the FIFA World Cup of Soccer in Germany last week you might have heard about the infamous Zidane head-butt. But everyone sees things differently…..
Chicken Lays Allah Egg…
by The MaryHunter
Well, what can one say? As Bergbikr noted in his tip-off email to me, “There’s a message here, what’s your guess?” See if you can sort it out, via Al-Reuters, courtesy of Yahoo:
Chicken in Kazakhstan lays mystery Allah egg
AL…
Why “The World” Is Stupid…
AP Via Yahoo News
Liberals like to use “World Opinion” in their arguments against their President. I want to say unequivocally that “The World” is made up of a bunch of douche bags. [Ctrl+C/Ctrl+V]
Bush held Israel blameless for…
Irish National Yoga Team Takes Home Top Honors …
Our sincere congratulations go out to the lads from the Irish National Yoga Team for winning first place at the recently completed World Cup of Yoga. In this exclusive photo taken from one of their training sessions, Keegan O’Shea (piss…
The Knucklehead of the Day award Part Five…
Our fifth winner is McAfee Inc. They get the award for fixing a design flaw in some of its software but NOT telling some of its customers till yesterday….
Rope, Tree, People…
Some Assembly Required.
Imagine a world without people…
……
Congress to Act on Moral Issues this Week…
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The Knucklehead of the Day award Part Six…
No I haven’t run out yet. :)
Our sixth winner is Mark DelCore….
The Knucklehead of the Day award Part Seven…
Our seventh and final winner today is Auburn University….
Wally West being shafted for Bart Allen tells that it’s time for fans to get tough and show some muscle…
First, the good news: Marv Wolfman is going to write Nightwing’s adventures again (H/T: Titans Tower Monitor). He’d already written some stories for Dick Grayson and Roy Harper, aka Speedy/Arsenal back in 1988-89 in Action Comics Weekly, which were s…
Katyusha rockets hit Nahariya and Tiberias…
The damage resulting from Ariel Sharon’s retreat and negligence continues. Now, with the Hezbollah attacking Israeli targets anew, they’ve also struck Tiberias and the lower Galilee, and two people were murdered as a result….
Of Course You Realize This Means War…
It’s no longer possible to pretend that Israel is engaged in a military strike against terrorists. Martial law is in effect in the north, and Hezbollah is firing missiles deeper into Israeli territory. This is a full-scale war. Lebanese Prime……
The Knucklehead of the Day award…
Today’s winner is Hawaii Ciircuit Judge Patrick Border….
How To Lose A War In Ten Days…
If you really want to lose a war, be sure to care more about your enemies than the good guys.
Make something besides winning, such as being morally superior, the priority. Being moral is nice and all, until it makes you dead.
Use “objectivityR…
And that’s why he’s NOT suited to deal with the si…
Daniel Freedman wrote in The New York Sun on July 13 about Ariel Sharon and what he wrought through retreat and weakness….
Madonna at Atlantic City…
Well, here are my observations:
1) It was too loud for me.
2) No one was killed for watching Madonna perform.
I was reading ProgressiveIslam.Org’s Carnival Against Islamofascism where the blogger kindly mentioned my article why there are only 72….
Islamists are apparently afraid of Superman!…
Democracy Frontline (via Always on Watch) found this most side-splitting news involving childish superstition from a Dubai news outlet:…
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