NEWS BRIEFS
Tragedy As 4 Helicopters Crash Covering Earlier Crash Of 2 Helicopters

Dual tragedies struck the city of Phoenix, AZ earlier today as total of 6 news choppers crashed in two separate fiery crashes. First, 2 news helicopters crashed while covering a high speed police chase near central Phoenix. Firefighters and ambulances rushed to the scene, but were unprepared for what happened next.

“I saw the first fireball and the helicopters go down,” said Juan Perez, who lives with 13 other families in a single bedroom apartment near Phoenix Central Park. “Then about four other news choppers started circling the wreckage. You could see they were jockeying for position.”

Observers say overeager pilots and cameramen inched dangerously close to each other for a better view of the crash when four additional helicopters simultaneously collided, raining flaming debris onto the already wreckage strewn park.

A local station manager was nearly speechless over the tragedy. “What words are there to express the pain and anguish when a senseless tragedy like this ruins a ratings bonanza like a high speed chase?” he said. “I only hope that we can find solace when the overnights come out.”

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Dobson Snubs Thompson: "I Don’t Think He’s A Christian"

James Dobson, the founder of Focus on the Family, publicly questioned Fred Thompson’s Christianity, saying “Everyone knows he’s conservative and has come out strongly for the things that the pro-family movement stands for, [but] I don’t think he’s a Christian; at least that’s my impression.”

Mark Corallo, a spokesman for Thompson, called the charge ludicrous, and more importantly beside the point, as “the real question in this race is whether Jesus is a Fredist.”

He said that Thompson would be making a public statement to counter the charge later in the day, after he finished attending “Wednesday Services,” which the spokesman explained involved Thompson throttling a filthy war protester with his left hand while he panfried some porkchops for lunch with his right.

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Chavez Says Castro "Almost Jogging", Depending On Slope Of Cliff

Venuezuelan President Hugo Chavez said Wednesday that his friend, ailing Cuban dictator Fidel Castro has been walking, “almost jogging”, in recent days.

Despite widely-reported rumors of failing health, the 80-year old strongman’s doctors have devised a regimen of vigorous physical therapy involving variously sloped terrain that Castro “can scale down incredibly quickly”, depending on the percentage grade.

“Fidel seems to really love the steep ones,” said one doctor. “We can’t keep up with him. Almost as soon as we let go, he’s bounding down energetically with his arms and leg flailing and tumbling. Eventually we catch up, finding him sprawled out, quietly meditating at the foot of the slope, his arms and legs twisted behind his back. He’s eternally youthful.”

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Quinnipiac Poll Finds "Quinnapeeack" Most Popular Spelling

The latest Quinnipiac poll of Connecticut residents finds spelling challenger Quinnapeeack two points ahead of Kwinnapeiak among voters, 48-46. Quinnipiac, the actual spelling of the poll, is preferred among just 6% of respondants.

It is believed the contentious spelling of Iraq is driving the surprising results, as bitter divisions as to whether to call the nascent democracy, which may or may not be in a state of civil war, Irak, Irack, or Eyerach have split the Connecticut electorate and created an unexpected three- way race.

The poll also asked opinions on the Lieberman- Lamont matchup, but those results were largely boring, it being like at least two months until the election, which means that the poll is virtually meaningless.

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Filthy Jews Flood Streets Of Kiryat Shemona

Hundreds of filthy Jews wandered around the streets of Kiryat Shemona on Thursday, after a Ketusha rocket fired by Hizb’Allah struck a laundry detergent factory, setting it ablaze.

A Hizb’Allah spokesman said the strike was “just vengeance” for the continued attacks by Israel which have “killed no one but innocent civilians excersizing their 2nd Amendment rights, destroyed baby formula and medicine factories that I’m afraid are too dangerous for you to enter and inspect, and damaged playgrounds where our children play in spider holes and underground bunkers.”

When asked if Hezb’Allah would be ridiculing their Israeli enemies as “filthy Jews” after striking their supply of laundry detergent, he responded: “I don’t get it. What is that?”

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41 Comments

  1. The Peace Moonbeam Chronicles

    The Party Faithful

    December 10, 2005 Undercover Having lost my soon-to-be-ex-husband to the Republicans, I decided to infiltrate their society with the intent of ultimately subverting it toward more noble, liberal ideals. I carefully executed my strategy. First, I purcha…


  2. reverend gisher

    what da? did I just step into some alternate reality? is this…….yes i see it’s point 5. OK maybe it’s me. i’ll go back to bed and try this again later.


  3. The Florida Masochist

    The Knucklehead of the Day award

    Today’s winner is John Glandon.


  4. Pirates! Man Your Women! » The Rules. Now pay attention.

    […] Linked To: Stop the ACLU, Samantha Burns, and Point Five. Because the world needs to know. […]


  5. Stop The ACLU

    Weekend Open

    If you have something that you would like to share with us, and our readers, please leave a trackback to that post, and link to this post so others can join in on the linkfest.
    If you don’t understand what a trackback is go here for a good exp…


  6. Political Satire Fake News - The Nose On Your Face

    TNOYF Interview With Jeffrey Dahmer

    On this date in 1994, homosexual cannibal and necrophiliac Jeffrey Dahmer was bludgeoned to death with a broomstick by fellow inmate Christopher Scarver while Dahmer was cleaning the prison bathroom. Dahmer was serving fifteen consecutive life sentence…


  7. Don Surber

    Ode To The Democrats

    With apology to Rudyard Kipling:
    If you can scream and make screams your master,
    If you can whine — and make whining your aim;
    If you can dish it out but cannot take it
    And treat tyrants and Republicans the same;
    If you cannot bear to hear what y…


  8. The Uncooperative Blogger

    Best Line I Have Heard in a Long Time

    I just heard a Marine from camp TQ, Iraq, on the Laura Ingraham Show. He is from Murtha’s district and he totally debunked Murtha’s assertion that our troops moral is broken. More important, he said something that was just marvelous. He Sa…


  9. Adam's Blog

    Christmas Wars, Episode II: Attack of the Moderates

    Christmas Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Moderates As the dark empire is forced to retreat from retail outlets across the country, the Christmas resistance moves in full force with Christmas cheer, determined to restore traditional Christmas t…


  10. Tel-Chai Nation

    Princeton press conference with ex-terrorists

    The IRIS Blog’s been live-blogging at the Raddison hotel in Princeton, New Jersey, covering the press conference with three former PLO terrorists who later reformed, and there most certainly have been quite a lot interesting things discussed there.


  11. Tel-Chai Nation

    They’re still burning cars in France…

    C.A.G.E (Coalition Against Global Extremism) reports that acts of arson by Muslim vandals are still going on around France, despite the claim that the riots are over


  12. Peakah's Provocations...

    The Power of the Open Source Media

    Anyone who paid attention to the Able Danger story realizes that there is an infinite amount of Open Source information that needs to be utilized and organized for the reweaving of neighborhoods all across the fruited plain…


  13. freedom folks

    The New Americans?

    This is a phrase that gets thrown around lot these days. Politicians use it to describe those who have jumped the border and entered the country illegally.


  14. Those Bastards!

    Forgiving starts at home

    This last Wednesday, I knew I had to drive out again, to my little spot near the lake. The early part of this week had been a tremendous drain upon my soul, and I knew I could easily slip into madness, without the serenity this place provides me. I wou…


  15. The Florida Masochist

    Pity

    First Mr. McEvoy acts like an bitter old man. Now he acts like a immature juvenile. Then why should any of us be surprised.

    Why do I call him an immature juvenile. His picking on the President for the way he speaks. It reminds me of the abuse I an…


  16. Shoot a Liberal

    Air-heads

    Once again, the Kyoto protocol rears its ugly head and once again, we reject it. Why would the U.S. not wish to participate in such a treaty? Because we like electricity and the U.S. is already doing it’s part to reduce the amount of CO and NOx we pu…


  17. The Real Ugly American

    There is No Doubt Of Links Between Saddam and Al Qaeda

    I warn you now the post will be long simply because the evidence of ties between the two are extensive. I will not list every bit of evidence but hopefully this will give you an idea of just how much information there truly is.


  18. Bloggin' Outloud

    Hilarious Headlines

    Weekend Edition: Join the fun by commenting on the featured headline at Bloggin’ Outloud. You could be our next lucky winner. More great news at Samantha Burns, Stuck on Stupid, Point Five, Right Wing Nation, and MacStansbury.


  19. Magnums Conservative Voice

    DNC Responds to RNC

    If you have not had a chance to see the video produced by the RNC…


  20. The Violence Worker!

    White Phosphous - Moonbats Stuck On Stupid!

    Ya know, I couldn’t figure out why the Moonbats were all atwitter about White Phosphorus. It isn’t considered by anyone outside the idiot left to be a chemical weapon and does not act like a chemical weapon when used. Then


  21. Diggers Realm

    Illegal Aliens Taking Congressional Seats Away From States That Don’t Support Them

    So you live in a state not affected by illegal aliens, or so you think. Did you know that they count illegal aliens in the census? Well they do and these numbers are put towards how the population is apportioned…


  22. Inside Online Advertising

    BlogAds Orders Way Up

    I’ve been running BlogAds on my website Diggers Realm for over a year now. They’ve worked great and BlogAds is a great company that has always paid on time and been responsive. Through the past year I’ve had at least…


  23. Oblogatory Anecdotes

    Weekend Open Trackbacks

    I have been so busy lately with learning the ropes of a new job and the last couple of weeks of school that I haven’t had much time to blog. It’s the weekend, which means weekend open trackbacks. Feel free to trackback on any subject and to help you …


  24. Conservative Cat

    New eBay Phishing Trick

    This is becoming such a habit I thought I’d better add a category for it. There is a new type of phishing email on the loose. The example we received was disguised as a message from an eBay customer about…


  25. otimaster

    The battle of the bridges Open Trackback Post

    The video of that it has been defined “the battle of the bridges”. In August 2004, our brave italian soldiers obtain a Victory that she allows to maintain the control of the center of Nassirya.


  26. The Right Nation

    Sleepy Sunday Open Trackback

    While we’re sleeping all day long, make a link to this post, then trackback this URL and - sooner or later - a link to your post will be added at the end of this one. If you can’t make a trackback, use Simpletrack di Adam Kalsey or Wizbang Standalone…


  27. The Florida Masochist

    The Knucklehead of the Day award

    Today’s winner is Rayfran Sales.


  28. Don Surber

    Next: The ACLU War On Funyuns

    Meet John Mize.
    He’s a law clerk in Beckley, W.Va. A recent law school graduate, Mize looked to the heavens for divine help in passing the bar exam and maybe helping him avoid a traffic ticket.
    The Lord responded and sent him a sign.
    To Noah, He s…


  29. Robinik.net

    Week-end Easy Open Trackback

    This is an open trackback post.
    

    The Trackback url is This
    Please return a link to this URL
    If your Blog doesn’t support trackback use this
    Enjoy your Life!
    Questo è un Open Trackback post: Il week-end è dedicato all’open trackback per seg…


  30. Don Surber

    Bush: Democracy’s Champion

    The Washington Post’s “In Iraq, Bush Pushed For Deadline Democracy” confirms what many of us have been saying all along: This war in Iraq is about democracy.
    With the interesting choice of a subhead (”Timeline Yields Constitutional Order, Not Peac…


  31. The Business of America is Business

    The Wages of Socialism & Social Democracy

    Acording to Hans-Werner Sinn, Director of the Ifo Institute for Economic Research in Munich, Germany, the country that gave the world Socialism and the modern European welfare state, still has yet to come to grips with “Anglo-Saxon capitalism.” As he…


  32. reverend gisher

    thanks for the offer, but i knew what they were/are, besides as you can see from the thread above me, i have my own agent whoring me around(god bless the man) no i was a little say, disoriented from a comment above my first one. sorry.


  33. Don Surber

    Blog Cast

    Until I figure out how to do podcasts, try this little tidbit:
    Click here to hear “Pryor made Shakespeare’s Sister laugh”
    New York Times: Conservative blogs are more effective. Hmm.
    My take:
    Click here to hear Conservativeblogs”


  34. A Blog For All

    Abolish the CIA?

    I think cleaning out the CIA would be a great idea, but who would come in to take those positions? That is an answer that relates directly on whether getting rid of the CIA would accomplish anything at all.


  35. Don Surber

    71% of Iraqis Say Their Lives Are Going Well

    How are things going in Iraq? Well, why not ask Iraqis, where 71% say things are going well in their lives.


  36. The Business of America is Business

    Where Would Jesus Shop?

    Where would Jesus shop? Well, that’s not exactly the question that is asked in the lastest WakeUpWalMart ad targeting Wal-Mart. It is, however, the one that is clearly implied. Here’s how the Marcus Kabel of the AP describes the ad:…


  37. Don Surber

    Podcast: Christmas on the Talk Shows

    Today I am home from work and watching television.
    I wonder how daytime talk shows would handle various Christmas stories. That is the subject of today’s podcast.


  38. spurwing plover

    Tookie williams has paid for his sins he joined up with a violent gang and commited murder let god be the judges of him now


  39. The Real Ugly American.com » Blog Archive » There is No Doubt Of Links Between Saddam and Al Qaeda

    […] Tracked back to: Is it Just Me, Otismaster, Choose Life, Stop The ACLU, The Uncooperative Blogger, The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns, Point Five, 10ft2ft, Adam’s Blog, TMH’s Bacon Bits, bRight & Early, Jo’s Cafe, All Things Beautiful, […]


  40. Christmas Wars, Episode II: Attack of the Moderates | Adam's Blog

    […] Open Trackback: Stop the ACLU 10ft2ft Cao’s Blog TMH Bacon Bits Conservative Cat Wizbang Point Five Blog […]


  41. Last Chance Pick the President Open Trackbacks | Adam's Blog

    […] Blog Stop the ACLU 10ft2ft Cao’s Blog TMH Bacon Bits Wizbang Carnival of the Trackbacks Point Five Blog Macstanbury Oblogatory Anecdotes The Right […]


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